A tale of Frogmance
by SilentSicarius
Summary: 'If he's hot he's either gay or taken.' Life seemed to despise Alice Kirkland...because unfortunately for her, the man of her dreams was both. She was in such a mess. And to make matters worse (yes, it's possible) he's her childhood best friend and NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR! Includes genderbent characters, Lovina's harsh comments and a hyper author. You think you got what it takes?
1. Entry 1: The heartbreaking truth :(

_**STATUS: **__** CRAVING FOR COOKIES! **_

_**Hello! **_**(^‿◕) How are you all? I am trying to keep myself busy…why? Because I'm craving for a chocolate chip cookie… Yum…Anyway this is an AU story...that means OOC characters, maybe not too OOC... It's also quite informal, for my liking anyway... (hopefully this fic is an original) I'm using their human names as they're humans in this story, i've included names/ countries so you don't get confused.**

**Chapter Icludes:**

**-England/UK (Genderbent) =Alice**

** (Genderbent)= Feliciana**

**-S. Italy (Genderbent)= Lovina**

**-France= Francis**

_**DISCLAIMER: I own only the plot, and maybe a few OCs…maybe…**_

_**Anyway, on with the story!**_

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**A tale of Frogmance**

_**彡**__** ミ 彡**__**彡**__** ミ**__** 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** 彡**__** ミ ミ **__**彡**__** ミ**__** 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** 彡**__** ミ ミ **__**彡**__** ミ**__** 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ **_

Entry 1:The heartbreaking truth :(

_D__ear diary, _

_My name is Alice Kirkland, I'm known to be the craftiest of all snobs, and I'm still trying to figure out if that's a complement or an insult… _

_Anyway, I'm only writing in this blasted book because I was advised (forced) to. Apparently it should "help" me (so far it's only wasting my precious time). Anyway, here are a few questions my __darling__ friend Feliciana (excuse my sarcasm) thought I should answer:_

**Why are you writing this diary?**

_Because, you practically forced me to._

**What significance is this diary to you?**

_Apart from the fact that it proves you can spell words with more the two syllables?_

**Who is the person you think about the most?**

_Definitely not you, bloody git…_

**Are you facing any problems at the moment?**

_Besides the fact that I feel like I'm stuck in a long winded therapy session? My patience is wearing thin…_

* * *

She shut the book closed with haste, hurrying herself out of the chair. 'There! I've finished!' she announced happily. She looked relieved, now she could finally escape from the hags clutches. She grabbed her snatched and placed the strap over her shoulder. She was about to grab the pale blue book before it was snatched away from her reach.

'Oh no you don't!' snapped Lovina opening the diary hastily. She whipped it open harshly, causing Alice to wince.

'Lovina! Give it back!' she complained, the brunette stuck her tongue out at her blonde friend stubbornly. 'Feliciana! Tell your sister!' She yelled, glaring at the brunette's more fun-dovey twin, who began to tremble a little under pressure.

'Feliciana is MY sister. She's not going to listen to you,' snapped Lovina stretching her arm behind her back, where the blond struggled to reach it.

'You could give YOUR sister a little more respect.' Alice retorted snidely.

'Don't tell me what to do bitch.'

'Watch your tongue misses! I'm your elder.'

'What do you want me to do about it granny? Help you cross the fucking room?'

Alice glared at her, wiping her dress in the process. 'Prick,' she muttered calmly, challenging the brunette. The tension in the room seemed to have gone up some more.

'Bitch,' Lovina replied.

'Hehe, come on now…can't we stop with the arguing and the fighting? We're all friends, no?'

'Nobody asked you asshole?'

'Stop being such a bloody wanker! She's your sister for Pete's sake!'

'I care nothing for Pete.'

'Oh-'she groaned, slamming her head against her palm. 'It's a saying-'

'I don't care for you and your useless British sayings,' she cut in. Feliciana ran between the two girls waving a white flag in the process.

Alice looked at her in mild surprise. 'Wherever did you get that flag from?'

Lovina snorted, 'does it matter?' She flipped through the book, scanning through the words.

'No, I guess not,' Alice sighed in defeat. 'Please may I have MY diary back?' Lovina silenced her with a finger; she resumed reading the context of the flowery book.

'Alice…' she said warningly, placing the open book into her hands. 'You didn't even write your answers properly!'

'Why what'd it say?' her twin sister piped in. She glanced over the pages and then looked into Alice's green eyes. 'You think I'm a git?' she asked softly, her bottom lip trembling.

Alice's eyes widened and she opened her mouth, 'No, no… I wasn't referring to you as such.' She cleared her throat and looked away from her friends puppy face. 'Anyway I have to go,' she slammed the diary shut and placed it in her satchel. 'Be sure to say hi to your grandfather from me.'

'Aren't you going to see him yourself?' asked Feliciana, scrunching her eyebrows in confusion.

Alice shook her head. 'I'm off work for a week; apparently the stress is getting to me.'

Lovina arched an eyebrow, 'apparently?'

Alice chose to ignore her comment and bade them both farewell before exiting the house and stepping into the night. She inhaled the scent of fresh roses, her features relaxing by their sweet aroma. Gripping onto the strap of her leather satchel she began marching home.

'Ma chérie!' a voice cried from behind her. Alice groaned in annoyance… this was the last person she'd like to have seen. She turned around and glared at the frog behind her, his almighty charming grin making her glare at him even harder. He approached her with a confidence in his stride, each step of his making her clench her jaw tighter and tighter until it felt like it was going to break under the pressure. 'Coucou Alice. How is mon belle lapin ?' he drawled in his sexy French accent, grabbing her pale petite hand and bringing it to his lip, softly brushing them against it.

'Annoyed,' she snapped, snatching her hand away. She cleared her throat, trying to hide her blush. Why did he have to be here? She growled at the man before her, making him chuckle lightly. 'Now, if you excuse me I have to go.'

'Going so soon?' He gave her a puppy dog face which could soften the heart of anyone… too bad Alice wasn't 'anyone', it did make her reconsider her harsh tone though.

'Yes,' she said, a little softer than before. 'I'll see you soon Francis.'

'Of course, mon ami. Bonne nuit.'

'You too,' she mumbled slightly. She turned around and hastily made in to her house without looking back; to her relief and slight disappointment he chose not to follow her back. Once she was in her safe haven she ran to her room and relaxed against her desk chair, throwing her satchel onto the ground carelessly, her diary peeking out. She glanced towards it, pondering.

'Oh Alice…' she sighed pulling it out of the satchel. She grabbed her pencil case from her desk drawer and produced a rubber and began working her magic. Once she was satisfied she blew away the mess and pulled out a fine fountain pen, one which she was given to by her grandmother.

* * *

_Dear diary,_

_My name is Alice Kirkland. I'm an average British woman who happens to be a nurse; despite the occasional incidents caused due to my clumsiness I happen to be a darn good one, I love to help people… it gives a wonderful feeling. I enjoy writing too; I was inspired by previous British authors. Another one of my hobbies is cooking, I made crumpets once… the outcome wasn't great and I was forced to vow that I'd never cook for anyone again, not even my future husband. _

_Anyway, the true reason as to why I'm writing in this diary is because my dear friend Feliciana advised me to. She's a hopeless romance loving lady, her twin sister Lovina isn't any better, even though she acts as though she hates romance movies and books._

_Here's a little questionnaire that they produced for me:_

_**Why are you writing this diary?**_

_I'm writing this diary because I was told that it'd help me control my emotions. And to be honest it is working quite well._

_**What significance is this diary to you?**_

_Well, there's no significance to this diary as of yet… but I'm sure soon enough it'll be filled to the brim with my daily adventure and dark secrets._

_**Who is the person you think about the most?**_

_Well, I think about a lot of people during the days. Grandmother, my siblings, my friends ect. However, in all honesty, the very person I tend to think about the most is my best friend, and next door neighbour. He may act self-confident but he can be quite extreme, endangering himself and other around him. _

_**Are you facing any problems at the moment?**_

_There happens to be one teeny tiny problem I am facing. It's actually the main reason I was advised to write this diary, to keep in check with my emotions. You see… I've 'fallen' for a certain someone… quite strongly if I may say. He's an adorable, idiotic, perverted, loving, charming, egoistical frog. He flirts with everyone he finds cute (I mean EVERYONE) he also loves to look at himself in the mirror, complementing himself and his 'gorgeous' looks. He is quite the narcissist…but that's nothing compared to Gilbert (One of his friends. He, Gilbert and a young man called Antonio band together, calling themselves the 'Bad Touch Trio', a name they inherited during their time in Hetalia Academy. It's pretty pathetic, if you ask me…) I can't stand him… yet I can't bear imagining a life without him. Is it love? Maybe not. Hopefully it's just a small crush that'll go away. Why? Because this 'small crush' of mine happens to be the best friend I mentioned earlier, the reckless one, the one who lives next door. His name is…Francis Bonnefoy…did I also mention that he happens to be gay?_

_Yes, I am truly in a tangled mess. Until next time, diary of mine._

* * *

She sighed and shut it tightly, clenching her fists together. Rising up slowly from her chair she gazed out of her bedroom window into the one across, that was Francis' room. The light was off; indicating that he hadn't yet arrived home, Francis never went to sleep this early.

'Why does it have to be you?' she whispered to herself harshly. She pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. Sighing softly she gazed at the window once more.

'Good night,' she muttered. With that said she pulled up the curtains and snuggled into her covers, clutching the white covered diary to her chest. She felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders…maybe it had been a good thing to write her thoughts down…with that she slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.

* * *

_**彡**__** ミ 彡**__**彡**__** ミ**__** 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** 彡**__** ミ ミ **__**彡**__** ミ**__** 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** 彡**__** ミ ミ **__**彡**__** ミ**__** 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ 彡**__** ミ **_

_**Voila! The first chapter has been written and placed onto this wonderful website for the world of readers to enjoy! XD I wrote this solely inspired by the expression "If he's hot, he's either taken or gay" Unfortunately for dear Alice her crush is both... TBH, my best guy friend is gay. And he's awesome! Why can't heterosexual guys act as nice as him…Oh well.**_

_**I know, I'm awful. I'm currently in the middle of another story that I promised to commit myself to but after getting this amazing idea I had to publish it before my poor brain exploded with wonderfulness and my creative spark died in a dark corner. So, I'd love to have feedback. Please don't throw horrible comments at me. We're all human, we all have feelings.**_

_**Yeah, I'll probably go onto my other story after this chapter! But I am determined to finish this one also.**_

_**Now, if you managed to read my outburst without falling asleep…thank you and until next time!**_

_**~SilentSicarius **_**◕‿◕**

**Enjoy your day! XD**


	2. Entry 2: His other half :

_**STATUS:**_ _** FATIGUED! AND EXTREMELY THANKFUL FOR THE AWESOMENESS OF HETALIA (YES GILBERT, IT'S EVEN MORE AWESOME THEN YOU -_-) **_

**Why am I thankful for Hetalia? Because I just had a history assessment…you get the rest.**

**I actually wasn't expecting that much people to look at my fic, but thank you all the reading ^^**

**Special thanks to: **_**Hammsters, Shiralala and TErock95**_** – thanks guys ^^ the reviews made me determined to write more- even though I'm supposed to be concentrating on my other story…**

**Chapter Includes:**

**-England/UK (Genderbent) =Alice**

**-France= Francis**

**-Prussia=Gilbert**

**-Spain=Antonio**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN ENGLAND! – (no I don't… I just live in England D':) **

**On with the story!**

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**A tale of Frogmance**

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Entry 2: His other half :/

_Dear diary,_

_Yes, I decided to carry on writing in this bloody book. Why? Because I have spare time and nothing better to do. I'm off work for a week (an ENTIRE bloody week!). Anyway, I have no idea what to write… It's only 10:00am, I have no idea what I should write about… anyway, I should have wrote this down yesterday but I met that frog face when walking home. Not that I cared… _

_Anyway, apparently he's sick because he had too much drinks last night (serves him right! The fool) As I have nothing better to do I'll humour myself by annoying him, and shouting till his head explodes. Serves him right for getting drunk and worrying m- his mother. Yes, he worried his mother a lot…_

_I dislike that frog…a lot…_

She sighed, placing the fountain pen back into the case and shutting the diary closed. She eyed the diary with dislike, contemplating onto whether she should just dispose of the darn thing.

'If I had a death wish it'd seem like a brilliant idea. However, I don't,' she muttered to herself, annoyed by the fact Lovina would murder if she even tore the corner out of that book. She stroked the thick spine of the white book; it felt wonderful and dreadful at the same time. To know her biggest secret is hidden within the pages of this white, flowery and awfully feminine-like diary.

She closed her eyes and leaned back into the chair, she could see the shadows of what seemed like two men peeking through the curtains of Francis' room. There were two possible cases in which the partners may be. Quite frankly, she wasn't fond of either of them. Glaring at the curtains she decided it was about time to see what was going on, her stomach rumbled slightly in protest.

'Why now of all times?' she groaned in annoyance, grabbing her shawl she ignored her stomach's protests. It was time to lecture a certain pervert about the do's and don'ts on a week- day evening!

Once she had exited the house a huge gust of wind bellowed at her, lifting her skirts above her knees. She blushed slightly, sighing in relief when she saw nobody was around. Yes, she was slightly prude, but no one can blame her! When living next door to that pervert you can't be too sure with how you dress!

She walked into the house, not even bothering to knock; no one would answer anyway. Striding up the stairs she stopped across the frog's rooms, she smiled slightly at the old, battered painting which hung jaggedly onto the door. It said Francis on the top-right corner in a childish scrawl. Guess what it was a drawing of? That's right, a frog. She blushed slightly as a memory flitted through her but her thoughts were cut short once the door flew open.

'Pigtails!' greeted an obnoxious voice on the other end. She glared up at the pure-blond haired albino, making his smirk even larger.

She was about to retort when an idea struck her. She put on a blank face, 'Why Antonio! How are you?' she squealed and ran towards the Spaniard. He blinked in amazement, but she threw him a wink, silently gesturing to a surprised Gilbert.

'Alice! I'm good. And you?' he grinned at her, showing his sparkling white teeth. She smiled back, if it wasn't for her unintentional feelings for the frog and his love for a certain someone she would have definitely fallen for this man. He looked extremely handsome and he acted ever so charming. In fact, he was probably the only man close to a gentleman that ceased to exist.

She smiled back warmly, 'I'm great.' She then turned to the bed, which was empty. 'Where's the frog?' she asked, wasn't he supposed to be deathly ill?

'Bathroom,' he replied, an amused edge to his voice. 'He said he couldn't bear to lie in bed when his 'beautiful' hair was out of place.' Alice snorted, that was definitely something Francis would do.

Gilbert had recovered from his initial shock and glared between the two. 'Hey!' he whined, they continued their idly chattering, as if he wasn't there. 'How dare you ignore the awesome me!' he practically wailed, placing his hands in the air. He pouted at the pair, his hands clenching into tight fists. 'Excuse me! The awesome me is in your presence, you should be bowing in my wonderful presence.'

Both Alice and Antonio bit their lips, stifling back their laughter. It was funny to see Gilbert annoyed, normally he'd be the on annoying the others. As much as they'd like to chat with the ego inflated man they continued ignoring him, making him throw a tantrum that could compare to that of a child's.

They were about to break their façade when a voice interrupted them. 'Well, this is a pleasant surprise, no?'

Alice whirled her head to see Francis standing before her, shirtless. Panicking she placed her hand over her eyes, 'Wear some clothes dammit!' she screeched, her face turning red by the second. Antonio looked at her in amusement whereas Francis looked confused.

'You've seen my perfect chest before ma chérie, why are you acting so prude?'

_Because now I feel like my heart will tear out of its cage at the sight of your naked skin_. 'Because you're disgusting, and looking at you is scarring me! I feel sick just knowing you're showing all that flab!' She heard a gasp from Francis.

'Y-You,' he stammered, feeling insulted by her words. 'How dare you insult my perfect chest, il est magnifique!'

'Well I don't think so! Put a shirt on!' she cried from under her hands, her face was still red. 'Didn't you hear me?'

'Hey pigtails, hate to break it to you put Romeo's ran off.'

Alice peaked through her hands to see what he said were true. Clearing her throat awkwardly she placed her hands to her sides, the albino and Spaniard were looking at her, one was confused and the other was amused.

'Looks like our dear Alice has found her wonderland,' Antonio teased.

She glared at him, redness creeping up her neck. 'Shut up, you prick,' she hissed, crossing her arms tightly around her chest. She glanced at the door and felt a little guilty at what she had said to the French man. 'Will Francis be okay?' she asked softly, glancing at Gilbert.

'I don't know, pigtails,' replied the red-eyed man. 'You hurt his pride.'

'But why should he care?' she cried. 'He shouldn't be offended by what I think!' _He's not into scrawny, hot-tempered girls…_

Gilbert opened his mouth for a second but no words came out. Antonio cut in, gently patting her shoulder. 'Of course he cares…' he said softly and sincerely. She gazed into his warm brown eyes, Lovina was a lucky woman! She thought about his words and a sparkle of hope filled inside her- 'you're his closest female friend, after all,'- and that sparkle just faded away into the deep abyss in her chest. _Friend…_

'Of course,' she commented dryly.

'Don't lose hope pigtails,' Gilbert smirked, walking up to her he placed his hands on her hair and ruffled it.

'Stop!' she snapped, trying to smoothen down the mess. 'What the bloody hell did you do that for?'

He smiled at her sheepishly. 'I bestowed some of my awesomeness on you, because I'm an awesome friend.'

She glared at him, 'Awesomeness... really?'

'Well, I was going to say perfection but that'd be bragging.'

'…'

'Between you and me, I know I'm perfect. Everyone in this world knows I'm perfect. So there's no need to brag, right?'

'…'

'Pigtails?'

'…'

'Come on girl! I know you are amazed by my very presence. But speak!'

Alice clenched her fists, her teeth were gritted tightly. Her brain was hurting and her heart was unsure. This was the last thing she should be dealing with…

'I command you to speak to the awesom-'he was out, on the floor. Blood was running through his nose as he bundled up like a child in all his awesome glory.

Antonio chuckled, crouching down towards the man. 'Well you didn't kill him,' he commented, gazing towards the seething blonde.

'Not yet…' she hissed.

Antonio's humoured look was replaced with of surprise. 'Y-You're crying,' he stated softly, pulling himself up he gathered the sullen girl into her arms. It wasn't that she was crying…she didn't even sob. She just stood there in his warm embrace, tears dripping down her cheek. 'Do you want to talk about it?' he asked quietly. She shook her head, unable to say anything. After a few minutes he untangled his arms from her and placed his hand on her shoulder. 'Let's take you home.'

She shook her head. 'I-I G-Gil.' She couldn't finish her sentence.

He smiled at her, 'he'll be fine, he's awesome…remember?' She laughed a little under her tears. He gently steered her towards the door and down the stairs.

'W-Why?' she asked him softly.

He looked at her; he brought up his sleeves and wiped the remains of her tears. 'Because Lovina would kill me if I didn't look out for you.' She smiled at him brightly, 'and also because I hate seeing you like this, so do the twins. You have to let him know…'

She shook her head. 'I'm fine!' she cheered happily, plastering on a grin. He saw through her charade but didn't comment. Silence fell between them and they walked outside, the wind getting caught in her pigtails. She shivered slightly, bringing her shawl closer around her shoulders.

'Come to apologies?' asked a hard tone, the friends looked before them to see a certain French man, now dressed in a red shirt. Francis tapped his food against the grass. 'Par exemple, désolé Franci-'

'I'm sorry Francis,' Alice broke in.

'Was that hard?' he strode towards the blonde who stepped closer towards the brunet beside her. 'Are you going home ma chérie? There's no need. I'm not angry with you anymore…' He broke of and stared at her face. 'Y-You were crying? Pourquoi?'

She pressed her lips together tightly, avoiding his gaze. She couldn't bear looking into his bright blue eyes- not when she looked so…horrible. She pulled away from Antonio. 'Thank you Antonio, I'll make my own way home.' She side stepped the Frenchman and began to walk away.

Francis gave Antonio a questioning gaze, he shrugged in reply. Turning towards the retreating girl he yelled, 'Mais, Matthew is coming down soon! Mon amour would love to talk to you.'

She paused for a moment and then broke into a sprint, running home with a speed that could be thought of impossible from a frail girl like herself.

'What…just happened?' asked Francis in confusion.

'You're an idiot…' stated Antonio, striding back inside the Frenchman's house.

* * *

_Dear diary,_

_I've just visited the Frog. I offended him, I didn't mean to…he just…let's say I was in a situation where there wasn't much other choice. Anyway, I guess I'm not in the best of moods. Francis told me that Matthew was going to come to his house. I wouldn't be bothered, Matthew is a kind, shy man; unlike Gilbert, the bloody loud-mouth. Apparently he's been invited to 'hang' with the Bad Touch Trio. That's unfair, I've been Francis' friend since we were babes, yet I never get the liberty of hanging with them. Mind you, why would I want to spend my free time with them drunkards?_

_You may ask why I'm not that fond with Matthew. Well, remember when I told you that Francis was gay AND taken…well let's just say Matthew helps him tick both those boxes. Yes, he is Francis' ever-so-quiet-and-shy, adorable and extremely cute boyfriend… he happens to be the step-brother of my cousin, Alfred. _

_The only reasons as to why I do not hate on Matthew like a majority of woman would do is because:_

_I'm sophisticated and tend to hide from drama when it's for silly reasons._

_He seems like a good person, maybe I could be his friend._

_My cousin cherishes him, a lot. And Alfred is more of a younger brother to me then a cousin. Even if he tore open my heart when we were younger, I guess I love him too much._

_I love Francis…yeah it's a silly reason. However, Francis is truly happy with Matthew; I've witnessed it with my own eyes. As much as it pains me to say I think Francis is better off with being happy with Matthew then being sad and annoyed with a pathetic woman, like myself. And… as long as Francis is happy, so am I; to a certain extent._

_Well, that's all for today. I'll write tomorrow if I can. _

_Until next time, diary of mine._

* * *

She smiled softly, wiping away her excess tears. It was true, Francis was happy. And as long as he was happy, she wasn't going to complain. Because she may like him, even love him…but she didn't want to ruin her friendship with him by acting callous towards the man he loved. She cared too much.

Closing the book shut she strode towards her bed, tempted not to gaze out of her window. She fell onto the soft mattress with a sigh. Placing her delicate arm over her lidded eyes she hummed to herself, slowly snoozing away into wonderland.

* * *

_**I know it's probably like 12:00pm for Alice, but I'm allowing her to have a little nap to take away her worries. *yawn* I need a little nap too. I've just come back from school. At least it's Friday **__** Please review, tell me what you think. And I'd do my best trying to juggle this story with my other story, my course work, school work and of course... my barely existent life. Well, thanks for reading! **_

_**Wishing you a brilliant day/night,**_

_**~SilentSicarius****◕‿◕**_

_******XOXOXOX**_


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